I have never had a fear of heights that I can remember. So the only thing I can contribute to this feeling I experience is my children.
Does it ever happen to you?
That feeling where your stomach feels like it is in your throat?
Or you feel your heart beating so hard it might actually explode?
My latest experience was last night on an escalator. You read that right...an escalator!
OM is our little adventurous soul. He'll leap off of the stairs or bed without us knowing what he's doing. He expects us to catch him. Or it's "Look mom, I can fly like Batman!".
Back to the ever frightening escalator. He wants to get on by himself which is fine until I step on and he doesn't! I reach back in time to get his outstretched hand and he jumps on. Whew! I hold that little hand tight because he could fall backwards and die.
Yes, everything with heights involved in my head ends up with one of my children being seriously injured or dead! Please tell me I am not the only mom?! Please!!
We had gone to the mall to buy him some new shoes since the ones he loves have holes in the toes. This was our "fun" thing to do before heading out. Up one side and down the other.
Up not so bad because I have the death grip on his hand but down?!
"I can do it myself" I hear. My heart starts beating fast and the stomach in the throat thing happens. I mean he's 4 now but oh my goodness. My mommy head starts spinning that he will step on and slip and fall down and die!
I pull it together and let go of his hand. Standing next to him making sure he steps on right with me. And guess what he did it! I know he is more than capable but sometimes the fear grips me.
We made it to the bottom with no hand holding and about 5 steps from the bottom he "leaps" off.
My boy will be a boy and have no fear and this momma needs to get a grip!
Another place I get this feeling is the playground. Why?? Not like they are up miles high but for some reason again they will fall and die!
Okay, so I know that is a bit dramatic but it's how my brain works. I know that broken bones are in our future at some point and I do not want them to be fearful. SK has already had about 7 stitches under her left eye when she was about 2. I want them to climb trees and swing on vines over the creek like I did growing up. Just don't know how to tame it. Maybe I shouldn't. ?
Does your mommy brain ever kid in like mine with a similar fear?
I have this huge pain in my neck... it's called a herniated disc.
Or I had a herniated disc last week.
Friday I checked in to have this repaired and now have a stiff neck from a piece of titanium screwed to my spine.
I am not the best patient. There I said it.
I am stubborn. Try to do too much too soon.
Feel lazy just sitting around at home watching crappy tv shows all day.
Side note...we don't have cable and only watch our certain shows thru Netflix or on the computer. I started looking for something to watch. Mindless tv maybe with a little humor and there was so much sex and naked people and language. Not sure if it's because I have the Netflix version but come one. Just a good old funny movie was more difficult to find that I anticipated. I don't need to see people with no clothes on in the first few shots. And Hollywood...you really can make a good movie that people will watch without all the language.
Okay, rant over.
This is my second neck surgery. First one was about 9 years ago for the same thing.
Herniated disc at C5/C6.
I remember having someone sit with me that first day or two while Paul went back to work but I don't remember when I resumed daily activities.
No kids back then so there wasn't as much to do.
This go round has definitely been harder than I thought it would be.
C6/C7 is a little more difficult surgery apparently since it is lower down the spine.
They actually move the esophagus out of the way! This has caused a good deal of pain.
Never expected to have trouble swallowing. Hurts down in my chest to swallow still. Getting better slowly.
Feels like someone is pressing in on my throat. Wearing the collar exaggerates that feeling. Claustrophobic kinda. I do not like this feeling!
The pain is pretty bad but manageable with pain meds. I try to not take them as often and have tried an alternate method of pain relief.
Peppermint Essential Oil.
I have to say I am still a bit skeptical but it did seem to help yesterday. You put it on your skin down the spine. I want to investigate it further. I am all for the natural method!
My dear hubby has to remind me that I did just have surgery less than a week ago and that it needs to heal.
I don't need to be so hard on myself.
Work can wait and things there will go on without me. I left ahead of schedule in preparation.
(I am at work today and so far so good. Definitely in pain but feel somewhat productive.)
I am ready to pick up GB again! Ready to wrestle with OM and have tickle fights with SK.
Anxious to see how it looks at tomorrow's follow up appointment with my surgeon. If the titanium plate looks like the last one did it is dog bone shaped. They removed the first plate because that surgery had healed so well the "hardware" was no longer necessary.
Thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming as this is a longer healing process than I thought. For me to be patient with myself and let my body heal as it needs to so I'll be 110% for my family soon!